Many years ago, my Biology teacher pointed to me and asked: Do you stammer?
I, about 14 then, gave a prompt and resolute 'No' as the answer, even though I was not sure what the term exactly meant! I became an internalised stutterer and thought that my life had not been affected by my stammering- certainly not too much! Hindsight is clearer than the foresight and now at 52, I can see that that 'No' has harmed me in myriad ways over the years. But now I have discovered deeper meanings in my suffering and have seen the brighter side of the whole issue. The following survey was conducted to make a rough estimate of how people who stammer (PWS) view their stammering.

Total 59 people participated between 9^th July to 14^th August 2009. Here are the responses:

• 39% believed that it didn't let them realize their potential fully.
• 23.7% felt that stammering 'screwed their life'.
• 15.3% claimed that 'It helped me; it made me more determined to succeed.'
• 10.2% said that stammering did not affect them a great deal. They would have done as good or bad with or without it.
• 3.4% said that it benefited them a lot. (Rest were invalid responses.)

All told, about 63% (23.7+ 39) people felt that their life was adversely affected by stammering. Only 10 % felt that it had no effect. Even though age of respondents is not available, in our experience, when we are young, we take disappointments very seriously; one failed interview hurts for months, for years; this is the time when lot of things are happening in life: new relationships are being formed, new academic goals are being set and new career options are opening up every day. Verbal communication is intense and 'expected' all the time in the life of young people. Every set back is interpreted in terms of failed communication. Unfortunately, few young PWS have recourse to a counselor, who could understand their specific issues and help them find their way out of the stuttering bog.

On the other hand, about one sixth (18.7%) of respondents viewed their stammering in a positive light. I guess these are older people. As we grow, we have been through enough ups and downs in life. Career choices and relationships are no more as intense as they used to be- these have lost all the angst. Our capacity to view different aspects of a given situation has improved: we have developed some 'lateral thinking' skills. We had much opportunity practicing problem solving in real life situations. We are ready to turn our stammering over and give it a closer look finally. Sometime there are incidents which force us to take that look: we bungled a job appraisal for a senior position probably. All these events accumulate and wait for a bardo moment, for the final flowering, as if it were.

So what are these “advantages” of stammering after all?

You tend to be more compassionate for other people facing disabilities or discrimination. You develop a style of deeper communication which does not need words, kind of telepathy or empathy. You develop a grit which comes with constant battling with a chronic communication problem. You are more determined to succeed. Many children try to make up in other “departments”- they may show creativity in other fields or proficiency in sports or music, arts etc. Finally, inner suffering brings its own reward: you develop a kind of wisdom which no book or university could have taught you. Yes, if you have lived the life whole heartedly, all these and much more can be your reward. Lastly dont forget to take our next poll! Your wisdom might help some PWS somewhere, who knows!