Are you willing to work on yourself continuously for many months?

We remember our struggles to learn writing and reading as children. We also remember the hard work we had to put in to learn a second language like English. How long did it take to develop a good mastery over speaking English or even writing Hindi well. Long time? May be, even after years, we dont speak or write perfectly. We still sometime slip up. But we dont worry too much and just carry on. Something similar happens to us when we try to change the way we talk.

We developed our current style over years and it is only natural that we will take some months, may be couple of years to develop a new way of communication. In fact, recovery from stammering is almost like learning a new language like French or Tamil or Sanskrit! So, the big question is- are you willing to work hard over a long period of time, day after day? Or are you just looking for a quick shortcut? It has been seen that shortcuts, the tricks work only for a few days and then we are back where we started from! Here is a true story- only names have been changed.

Case study: When Vinay was about 11, his family noticed that sometime he will try to say something- his mouth will open and remain fixed, with no words coming out. Next moment he will be blurting out whatever he wanted to say. This happened when his father asked something or when he was excited and trying to tell something to his mother or sister. This also happened whenever some uncle dropped in and his father asked him to recite an English poem.

Then one day, his father returned from a PTA meeting, very upset. Vinay had failed the English test. This was unbelievable because his father had been coaching him at home and Vinay was doing very well. But the teacher in the school insisted that Vinay did not even know the first lesson in the English reader well. Why? Because he just could not read it in the class, whenever she asked him to. Finally, both his father and the teacher realized that all this was because of his stammering. His written home work was good.

His father took him to the nearest government hospital. A speech therapist laughed and joked with him and explained to him what he did wrong whenever he feared difficulty. He told him not to use “force” when stuck on a word. He also taught him a funny way of reading a book- slowly, stretching each word as if they were pieces of rubber band. In the seventh visit, he asked him: if I told you three things, will you do it over next nine months, every day on your own? Then, you dont need to visit me daily. You may come once every three months and phone in between occasionally. This will save your father from a lot of trouble and expense. But can you? I promise, if you could do this, you would be fine.

Vinay promptly said yes; he had to read his text book in the particular way he was taught, for ten minutes every morning. Then, he had to look into the mirror and do the exercises he was taught. Third thing- every evening, before going to bed, he was to write in a diary, all that happened during the day, especially about his speech and how he felt about it. First few weeks he was doing it every day very faithfully. Then, his exams came around and he skipped a few days. He felt guilty but hoped that it would not matter. But his sister reminded him about it. Then, one day a phone call came from the doctor and he realized that he just needed 20 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening to practice what he was taught. Encouraged by his sister and mother, he went back to the whole schedule again. Yes, it was boring but he stuck to it. It helped to explain what he was doing to his sister and include her in the morning activity on some days.

Gradually a change was coming over him; now, when he stammered his heart did not thump heavily as it used to, earlier. Another day, a boy in school teased him: you stammer- dont you? He was able to remain calm and say: yes, so? The other boy was surprised and kept quiet. The other change he noticed in himself was- he was more aware of his thoughts and feelings. Before thoughts of sadness and fear could take him over by surprise, he always turned the tap off and could think of something joyful and inspiring, like the up-coming science project or the interesting story book he was reading. In other words, he was aware of his thoughts and was able to change their direction quickly.

After many months, when they visited the speech doctor, the doctor was quite surprised and pleased. When his father tried to thank him, the doctor turned to Vinay and said- it is he who consistently worked so hard and deserves all credit. His father took him and his sister to the Zoo that day!

So, dear friends, there are many techniques which have helped people- but they all need lot of practice and time. But what do you do when you feel bored or discouraged? Once in a while everyone stammers, even the school principal. But we get discouraged and stop practicing the techniques, we have learned. We become indifferent and careless. So, what can we do? Here are some ideas.

Practical Ideas:

1. To motivate yourself, get in touch and keep in touch with other children who may stammer. Start a self help group or a children’s club. This club may not be just about stammering; it could be about better speaking/ reading habits. It could be open to other children, who want to get together and read or practice other communication skills- acting, singing etc.

2. Ask a friend or a sibling to help you by reminding you of your daily exercises- even in school.

3. Keep in touch with others who stammer through phone or letters. They understand you and can encourage you.

4. Set yourself small goals and give yourself a treat whenever you successfully meet the goal. If you like watching a particular TV show- do it after you have completed your slow reading assignment. Write down these goals in your diary and read it once in a while. Put them up on a paper on the wall of the room, where you spend most time.

5. Read stories of courage, motivation and inspiration.