by Alan Badmington
from Wales

A stutterer talks about how he changed his mind-set and accepted his stuttering as it was.

He talks about his experiences.

"I understand that I commenced stuttering at about the age of 3. I received early therapy and cannot recall any major difficulties until I entered the grammar school at 11 years.

I have vivid memories of struggling to give my name and address at the initial registration, in the presence of teachers and pupils that I had not previously encountered.

Reading aloud in class was a nightmare. I would calculate (10 desks ahead) what I would be required to say. Struck by the stark reality that my passage contained many words that had previously given me difficulty, I would remain silent and the reading would pass to the next pupil. That was one of the first examples that I recall of approach avoidance."

How he changed his beliefs

"CHANGING MY BELIEFS

Beliefs are probably the most powerful force for creating positive changes. They have a direct influence upon the way we think and behave. We perform at a level that is consistent with our beliefs and not with our potential.

I realised that my self-limiting beliefs (about my speech and other areas of my life), were contributing to self-defeating behaviour. With this understanding, I set about identifying those beliefs that I felt were holding me back.

One way to change a belief is to challenge it. So that was the path I decided to explore. Having highlighted my negative beliefs, I prepared a plan of action in which I would place myself in challenging situations. I needed to do things that I believed I could not do.

I recognised avoidance as a crucial ingredient of my stuttering behaviour, and made a pact with myself that I would never again substitute an easy word for a difficult one. I also vowed that I would accept, and never shirk, the challenge of any speaking situation.

Speaking in front of groups also figured prominently amongst my list of fears. A catalogue of painful experiences had fuelled my belief that I could never successfully perform that role. I addressed the situation by joining three clubs under the umbrella of the Association of Speakers Clubs (in the UK). I quickly discovered that the fear of public speaking was shared by many other (fluent) club members.

I had frequent opportunities to speak before an audience and gained in confidence. I also overcame my reluctance to pause, maintain eye contact and speak assertively (also previous self-limiting beliefs).

During the past four years, I have addressed numerous organisations in the UK, and also undertaken speaking engagements, and facilitated workshops, in many parts of the world. My fear gradually evaporated and, today, I readily accept public speaking as an integral part of my new self-image.

Having participated in debating groups, drama classes, media interviews and an assortment of workshops that involved considerable interaction, I now find that giving detailed explanations is no longer a problem. Another negative belief has been discounted."

And how stammering is no longer an issue.

"During the past few years, I have shown myself differently to the world, and I love the way in which it is reacting differently to me.

Stuttering has now disappeared from my mind, in the sense that I cease to think about the physical act, or my personal attachment to such behaviour. Do I still block? Minor dysfluencies occur very infrequently (principally in casual conversation), but they do not involve blocking. Most of the time, they don't even register with me. Those of which I become aware, I choose to totally disregard. Fluent speakers don't take account of them, why should I? Perfectionism no longer oversees my speech.

Talking is now a thoroughly enjoyable experience. I make no apologies for indulging in it at every opportunity - I'm simply making up for lost time. I am driven by my intentions and not my expectations. I simply LET GO and have FUN!

Today, I do not have any anticipatory fear about saying any specific word, letter or sound. When I approach, or enter into, any speaking situation the implications of stuttering no longer permeate my thoughts. They are simply non-existent. The debilitating oral shackles that had inhibited me since childhood have finally been removed, and I can now pluck whatever words I wish, from the extremities of my expansive vocabulary (swelled by years of substitution), and say them without fear.

Since changing my stuttering mindset, and eliminating the components that once contributed to my blocking behaviour, I have discovered that it is no longer necessary to constantly focus upon my speech or any technique.

Stuttering is no longer an issue in my life."

The original article is a must-read for every stutetrer and can be found here.