Many people dealing with long term disabilities or ill-health often wonder why it was their lot to suffer. Not knowing what caused the suffering in the first place, the original cause, becomes an additional burden. Many of us try to fill this void by vaguely believing half baked explanations offered by our culture and faith. This inner confusion and suffering constitutes a significant part of the load one carries.

Sheehan’s iceberg is a good way of explaining that part of stammering which can neither be seen nor heard. This is quite a substantial part of the problem called stammering. Nine tenths of an iceberg is hidden under water and this is the part which can do considerable damage to a ship passing by (this is what happened to the Titanic in the Nineteenth century!). This again, is the reason why traditional speech therapy fails frequently: it deals only with the stuttered speech and fails to deal with the deeper issues. Read more below:

http://www.geocities.com/batalosweb/methods/iceberg.htm

Case study

A child who was learning to cope with his stammering and its social repercussions, was one day told about the ‘Karma theory’ by another child. He was already struggling with the 'cross' that stammering represented for him. Now, suddenly he realized that he himself - and not his 'over-bearing' father, must have been responsible for his stammer: he must have done some evil karma in his previous births. May be he was a tyrant king who never allowed his subjects to talk! May be he was a cruel teacher who punished students severely for talking in the classroom! It must have been something truly ugly and sinful to deserve his lot in the present birth! Suddenly the child was carrying two crosses now: one for stammering in this life and the other for doing something evil in the last one. Was this necessary? Was this correct?

Many children and people who stammer, struggle to understand, why it has been their lot to stammer since in most cases they have siblings with normal speech. Quite often they turn to traditions they have been brought up in. Here under we offer three explanations and alternative views from different traditions.

Karma theory

Karma theory has often been misunderstood grossly, as in the above case study. Many people take just the half and ignore the rest. If bad karma generates bad samskar (tendencies) in this birth, good actions in this birth can and must generate good samskars and results in this and next birth. If twisting the strands one way can produce a strong rope, which ties us up, twisting it the other way can undo it and turn a strong rope into weak strands. This is the 'whole' of the Karma theory. It offers hope. A PWS can get down to hard work of changing the way he speaks, perceives the world and himself; he can start a self-help group to help himself and others etc. All the good fruits can be reaped in this very birth if we are committed enough.

God's Glory

Jesus was once passing through a village. A man, who was blind since birth was brought to him. Someone asked: Is this man blind because of his sins or his parent’s sins? He replied: Neither. He is blind to fulfill God’s glory.

According to this ‘non-dual’ position, everything is God’s manifestation. We need not hold ourselves guilty for our imperfections, if we take up this position. In fact, we figure nowhere in this scheme of things since God has become all the three- the sacrifice, the sacrificial block and the sacrificer according to an Indian saint. Who could complain? Who is there to complain?

So, what it means is - everything is an appearance. We are given roles to play. These roles are changing all the time. They do not reflect our truth, our reality. In other words, our disabilities and our abilities, both are just an appearance, just a temporary role. This may sound heartless and cruel but many have sincerely believed this and found solace and peace.

The House is Empty

There is undeniable suffering in this world- as there is joy and happiness. But all these belong to Nature, not to you or me. There are no entities like your 'self' and my 'self'. Pain and pleasure exist but do so in a generic sense. Great joy, great pain- all this is there but the problem starts when we start thinking in terms of 'my joy', 'my pain'. They do not belong to anyone. The same could be said about ability or disability. This is the third and Buddhist position.

As a child I had read a children's adventure story, about a haunted house. People's voices and all kind of noises were heard at night. A group of children had stumbled upon it and they were intrigued. They thought it was haunted. But when they began exploring, they found a series of hidden speakers and a tape recorder only. The house was empty! No one was there, ghosts or living - the sounds were just a trick. Similarly, this body and this idea of self is empty of any real ‘self’. This is what we find when we go looking for this ‘self’ in real earnest: The house is empty. The house and the idea of ‘self’ has been put together by Nature. Then, whose disabilities and suffering are we talking about?

Buddha said, there is a state beyond suffering and there is a path leading to it. But the first step is to realize that suffering and happiness are both impersonal. This brings a sense of freedom: we are neither pained by our so called 'failings', nor do we pride ourselves in our 'achievements'.

There is another, fourth, way of looking at our disabilities.

Little Versus Big cross

Case study: There was a flash flood one night in a village in north Bihar. The family tied up all their belongings in sheets. The father called the eldest son and put the biggest bundle on his head and gave smaller ones to younger children. The little one who could not walk well, he put him on his shoulder. This is how the whole family waded through the water to a high ground.

Everyone in life has to carry a cross. This is what we discover when we step out of our 'personal' suffering and observe the world around us. Obviously it stands to reason that if we credit this creation with an intelligent creator, we must accept that It gives us a cross matching our innate strength. Our trials can never exceed our inner resources. Until we become aware of that inner strength, life can be difficult, no doubt. But all life is a preparation for that final flowering.

Finally, when we accept ourselves wholeheartedly, as we are, the world too accepts us and feels comfortable in our company. That becomes a new basis for communication.