Adversity is Opportunity turned inside out”

Stammering may have a deeper meaning for many of us. Here is what a stammerer has to say, when he looks back at his life:

“As someone who commenced stuttering during early childhood, I developed a host of strategies to protect myself from embarrassment. I avoided words that appeared to cause me particular difficulty, and developed the expertise to (almost unconsciously) substitute synonyms that I felt more confident in using. I became a 'walking thesaurus'. Habitual use of word substitution meant that I amassed an extensive and varied vocabulary, which I put to good use in many different situations.

My struggles with the spoken word encouraged me to cultivate useful writing skills. In many instances, transferring my thoughts to paper was the only effective way in which I could meaningfully express myself. The written option allowed me to communicate exactly what I wanted to say...

Over the years, my writing skills have taken me in many interesting and exciting directions. I have edited several magazines; held the secretaryship of numerous organizations; and undertaken the role of advisor to a fictional crime series on British television. I have also written humorous verse and other poetry. During recent years, I have composed several poems about stuttering, which are used in many parts of the world.

In addition, my slogans have enabled me to win hundreds of prizes (including cars and exotic holidays) in consumer competitions. My reputation as a word-smith has also created many other opportunities. Over the years, I have been invited to prepare speeches/poems for use by other people at a variety of events... “

( Alan Badmington, member, British Stammering Association)

Does this happen to every PWS? No. But it can- if we, the stutterer, have courage and get the ball rolling. Neither God nor society can be held responsible for what has happened to us. Therefore, it is we ourselves who can and should do something about it. Once we begin, both God and society help us. For many of us, the first step is to stop feeling bad for ourselves, to get out of the bog of self-pity. This is a huge task and few attempt it on their own. Many have found self-help groups, whether physical or web-based, to be a good place to undertake this first major step on the road to recovery.

As we walk, this road full of ups and downs, we discover that Nature is constituted on the principle of duality. Every phenomena has an obverse and reverse aspect. Our disability is no exception. What we had considered for a long time to be our 'weakness' is our 'strength' too. It just needs a little shift in our perception. These little 'shifts' come during moments of great distress or danger - for example a bungled interview: An interview where we knew the subject matter very well, but made a mess while replying to a simple question (what is your name?); the panel asked no further questions and asked us to leave. When something like this happens, let us stop to think and review our communication and our coping strategies, instead of blaming others, fate etc.

Stammering has another explanation. It is an exaggerated reaction to a 'perceived' threat, manifesting through speech: Perceived threat- as opposed to 'real' threat. Our biology has inherited three kinds of response to danger: fight, flight or freeze. When a PWS decides to fight, he tends to tighten his chest and throat muscles and forces the word out, as if they were a piece of cork, jammed in this throat. If he decides to fly away from threat, he uses avoidance- like changing the word, the topic or even keeping quiet. Lastly, sometimes, the fear of the approaching difficulty is so great, that we do nothing- we simply freeze in terror- a silent block. Our thoughts, speech, breathing- everything freezes for those moments, which appear to be never ending.

We can see that all three responses do not really help the process of communication. But how can we change these knee-jerk reactions? It is like re-living a moment of great danger faced by one of our hunter-gatherer ancestors ages ago: She was happily picking berries in a bush and suddenly she was face to face with an angry bear! Can you think rationally at such moments? You dont think. You just react at such moments.

But there is a way out. In our case, most often the bear is not there, or if it is there it is certainly not angry! Our body is reacting to a threat, which is actually an interpretation (if not pure imagination) put together by our mind. Can we retrain our mind to interpret outer reality in a different way? Yes, we can. Imagine, our young PWS going back to the interview, but with a different set of thoughts in his head:

“..This is just an interview- not a matter of life and death. There will be many more interviews beyond this. I will never stop until I succeed. Moreover, I know my subject well. Even if I stumble on a word, I will take a deep breath and get back into 'slow & calm' mode and explain what I am trying to say. The people out there in the interview panel are looking for a good candidate, which I am... So, whatever is the outcome of this interview, It is fine by me...”

So, if he goes to the interview, with such thoughts, chances are he will stammer very little and will be able to get his point across. He might even get selected like many PWS all over and every year. This is called 'cognitive restructuring' in the West and 'positive thinking' in the East. It can be cultivated through deep and regular meditation and positive self talk (affirmations).

So, essentially, we can act differently, only if we can think and feel differently- about speech, communication, self and others. You can think and feel differently only if you can become a different person. The most stable and significant changes come from within, to without. Such changes improve not only our communication, but everything else. A time comes when even we ourselves marvel at the person we have become! Do you believe this?